Question Time

Tonight, in the dog-end of day 5, we will be exploring the question: why am I such an utter twat?

Here I am, 44 long full years behind me, I've sat through the same damn lesson time and time again. I've taken notes and nodded sagely and put my hand up and answered the questions and told the lesson to other people and I still don't really learn it.

The lesson I can't learn is this: there IS a future and unless I take steps, I won't be in it.

I don't like the future and I never have. There are people that love me, I am lucky and I do include you Nix and Monkey and Jane and kids and Dude. There are things that are beautiful in my life and I will risk them all for a momentary thrill. My self-control is crap. I'm like a little kid or a border collie, see something distracting and I run across the road without looking, car crash, dead.

So how can a person of this type possibly quit smoking? How?

My best friend can tell me something important about where I'm going wrong and I just go "lah-lah-lah-yeah whatever". A complete stranger can dare me to drink a bottle of vodka and do a pole dance in the Griffin and I'm right there. I'm a twat and I get it all wrong.

This probably doesn't make any sense but what do you expect after
Four days, 22 hours, 52 minutes and 58 seconds. 198 cigarettes not smoked, saving £45.07. Life saved: 16 hours, 30 minutes.