Now what?

What's the best approach for when you've fallen off the wagon? I think I shoould have figured that out before I bought the Silk Cut.

The most tempting thing is to shout "Hooray, this quit has failed!" and just throw yourself back into lovely lovely smoking with a vengeance. Cos what's the alternative? Reset your meter back to 0, hate yourself, despair and face the grim first days of quitting all over again. That's not going to fly.

I'm sitting here and a Brilliant Idea is forming. (Groans heard from those of you that know me and my Brilliant Ideas)

No, hang on, its two Brilliant Ideas. Its twins showing on the scan.

First Brilliant Idea. For every fag, I have to first sincerely repent. Think about the consequences of that, Young Lady. Perhaps I should repent right here in the blog. That will make riveting reading (Wild laughter) Then I have to commit an act of self-love so that I can know that I have proper forgiven myself. No I don't mean a w*nk. Necessarily. Could be anything nice. Could make myself a card. Or buy a song off itunes. Or force someone to say I'm great.

Second Brilliant Idea.
Since I was 19 every little thing I've done, I've done with a fag in my hand. Except for teaching or sleeping. I was going to say and having sex, but ummm come to think of it. So how about the worlds largest tick chart containing every conceivable situation, mood, scenario and location? When I get through that thing without a ciggie I get a tick. Then when I get, say, 100 ticks, you guys (the readers) can take it in turns to treat me to something nice. Possible flaw with this plan! Nobody will want to treat me to something nice! Prove me wrong and mail me your offers.

As to the meter: well its my servant not my master. I'm just going to expunge the last couple of days from the record and say:
Six days, 21 hours, 50 minutes and 56 seconds. 276 cigarettes not smoked, saving £62.88. Life saved: 23 hours, 0 minutes.